More McSweeney's Goodness

Recommended: Kanye West’s Lyric “The Way School Need Teachers / The Way Kathie Lee Needed Regis / That’s the Way I Need Jesus,” Adapted for Other Religions by Martin Bell The Next Thing Said After Select Famous Phrases by Marc Tyler Nobleman Translated Thoughts and Questions That Are Running Through a North Korean Refugee’s Mind When He Is Awarded Political Asylum in the United States, Settles Down, Turns on the Television, and the First Thing He Sees Is a Fancy Feast Cat-Food Commercial by David Aldridge Implausible Claims Made by Vanilla Ice in His 1990 No. 1 Hit “Ice Ice Baby” by Doug Erickson 2008 Presidential Stump Speech of Billy Bush, Cousin of George W. Bush and Access Hollywood Entertainment Reporter by Teddy Wayne

April 27, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

Commandments, or Beatitudes?

Jack Hitt in the LA Times: “How quickly it has all happened — that the media, particularly television, has convinced itself that Christianity is little more than a Republican political action committee.” Link courtesy of This Modern World

April 26, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

Burr steps up

I didn’t hear the interview, but it sounds like freshman Senator Richard Burr (NC) did not have kind words for Rep. DeLay’s recent behavior in a recent interview, considering they’re both Republicans: “To attack the judicial process and the system the way he has is inappropriate.” Courtesy of EdCone.com

April 25, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

"Vin Diesel taught Ric Flair the Figure Four Leg-Lock."

“Vin Diesel does not own a television. Instead, he derives entertainment by routinely opening the Ark of the Covenant.” “Vin Diesel created South North Korea by drawing a line of chalk 10 miles away from the DMZ and daring anyone to step across.” “Vin Diesel and Casper Van Dien are actually a superhero team that only fights crime in Toledo, Ohio, between 1:33pm and 4:39pm. Only 5 people in the free world know the reason for this.” ...

April 23, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

It's a flat world after all...

I haven’t read Thomas Friedman’s new book, The World is Flat. However, if these are actual lines from the book, I may need to, just for the experience: As I left the Infosys campus that evening along the road back to Bangalore, I kept chewing on that phrase: “The playing field is being leveled.” What Nandan is saying, I thought, is that the playing field is being flattened… Flattened? Flattened? My God, he’s telling me the world is flat! ...

April 22, 2005 · 2 min · shanethacker

That darned Democrat Voinovich!

Wait, isn’t he a Republican? :) I’m really wondering what the Republican Party thinks of “supportive” organizations like Move America Forward attacking their own Senators. Or perhaps this is the way the Republican Party is working now? After all, Swift Boat Veterans have to be kept occupied somehow…

April 21, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

Wonder! Science! Mystery Men! The Blue Beetle!

Comic book covers tend to be designed to get people to pick them up and buy them on impulse. If you think of your primary audience as being familiar with the characters, for instance, having an apparently dead hero on the cover is usually a good selling point. If, on the other hand, you’re just trying to convey “Action and Adventure Await,” I don’t think you can do much better than these covers from 1939-1942 Fox Comics. :) ...

April 21, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

"You'll pay for those forecasts!"

One would think that weather forecasting is a common good that would most easily be coordinated through the federal government, but apparently Sen. Rick Santorum doesn’t think so. He has introduced a bill designed to make sure the National Weather Service can’t publicly share information that would be in competition with private companies such as AccuWeather and The Weather Channel. While I can’t help but admit the fact that Senator Santorum is at least philosophically consistent on this bill, I would still have to disagree with the bill itself. If the NWS hasn’t stopped anyone from starting a private weather forecasting company, then why would we restrict the information from the people who paid for it: You and me. (Well, ignoring the fact that our lower taxes and increased expenditures have led to a budget deficit, which means that quite a bit of our government’s funding is coming from China buying Treasury bonds.) ...

April 21, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

Translating the Adobe/Macromedia Merger

Daring Fireball translates a recent Q&A about Adobe acquiring Macromedia: “Once Freehand, Fireworks, and GoLive are killed, customers will have the benefit of not having any competing apps to choose from, and we benefit from not having any competitors.” Link courtesy of ongoing

April 21, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker

Tom DeLay on Justice Kennedy

He does research? On the Internet?!? Why doesn’t he just pay his wife and daughter to do it? :) Seriously, how long will DeLay be in the House? If I had his track record, I’d be afraid of offending the judiciary.

April 20, 2005 · 1 min · shanethacker