Pretty self-explanatory. Link courtesy of Dave Barry’s Blog.

Ninjas vs. Pirates The ATF! What’s this country coming to, when a good Methodist ninja can’t run across campus without the feds hasslin’ him?

It’s alive. Good overview at TechCrunch.

I didn’t watch baseball that much when I was a kid, but when I started watching, I was a Red Sox fan. I don’t know why, since my dad liked the Braves. It made it pretty exciting when the Red Sox played the Mets in the World Series in 1986. Neither my dad nor I liked the Mets at all, and here were the Sox with a chance to break the curse and win the World Series. ...

Well, congratulations, Bush Administration. You’ve officially made it to the point where the first question in a press conference, from veteran reporter Helen Thomas, was “Is the U.S. going to attack Iran?”

The Onion’s AV Club checks out some songwriters who aren’t really into the details. :) Link courtesy of EdCone.com

Rep. Curt Weldon (R-Pa.) is running against a retired Navy admiral for reelection and has taken a curious tack in his campaigning. You see, retired Admiral Joe Sestak has a five-year-old daugher who had brain cancer. She went through chemotherapy in Washington, D.C., and was recently pronounced in remission. Apparently, this somehow offends Representative Weldon, who wants to make an issue of the fact the Sestaks’ daughter was treated in Washington, rather than Philadelphia or Delaware. ...

Hmmm…Apple just made it a lot more likely I’ll get a Mac in the future. I’ve been wanting to try OS X out for a while, but the thought of having to pick which box I’m going to install software on was annoying. Link courtesy of alexking.org

Duke President Richard Brodhead sent a message out yesterday to everyone involved with Duke University regarding the University’s response to the terrible events of March 13. He lists five initiatives Duke will be taking to address the problems that have come to light: Investigation of men’s lacrosse, in regards to past patterns of behavior. Investigation of the Duke Administration response to the rape investigation. Examination of student judicial process and practices. Establishing a Campus Culture Initiative to discuss student responsibility. Establishing a Presidential Council for higher-level advice. Here’s a link to the full letter. ...

I was so hoping this story from the Akron Beacon-Journal was an April Fools joke, but it looks like it just happens to involve fools in April. The gist of the story is that five teenage girls went around Ravenna, Ohio, and placed gift-wrapped boxes modelled after blocks in Super Mario Bros. The boxes were wrapped in gold paper with question marks. Sadly enough, in these times, that’s apparently enough to get someone to call out the Bomb Squad. It’s also may be enough for criminal charges. (I hope they’re talking about littering.) ...