That was the sound of the evening in our household, when one of our smoke detectors decided it needed a new battery. The unfortunate part was that we’re fairly new homeowners, so I’m still figuring out some of the things most people my age already know, like rhythmic beeping means new battery. Luckily, the smoke detector company thought of people like me when they put the instructions inside the case, right where you can see them when you’re trying to figure out how to disconnect and smash the beeping devil. ...

Kissing Suzy Kolber teaches Trash Talking 301. If the NFL were actually like this, I’d want all the players miked. :) “Excuse me, sir. Was it your responsibility to prevent me from catching the pigskin on that play? I’m not sure whom to address, as none of your allies were in my field of vision whilst I raced untouched to the end zone.” “I do say, your first-born son bears my likeness.” ...

I’m a bad Web guy, because I haven’t been really keeping track of the search terms leading people to this blog lately, since almost all of them seem to involve Jackie Manuel or Jawad Williams. However, I just happened to notice one special search term of which I am so proud: stargate boobs girl Stargate boobs girl indeed, my friend. ;) Update: Oddly enough, I’m very low on Google (4th page) for that combination of words. But now that I know what my audience wants… ...

In today’s chronicles of men who are far more manly than the rest of us could hope to be, we have Tom Boyle, who lifted the front end of a car off a pinned 18-year-old cyclist, rescuing him. Here’s one of the things Boyle had to say afterwards: “That boy really impressed me with how composed he was. He was pouring blood everywhere, and he kept saying he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. He even said thank you to me, and that blew my mind.” ...

Dr. Strange’s fighting technique appears to have been designed to cause serious self-inflicted wrist injury. For anyone who’s wondering about the title, here’s a list of Dr. Strange’s sorcerous phrases. Personally, I think he was making a lot of them up. ;)

“…and I’m going to name it Sheppard!” Sorry, bad Stargate Atlantis joke. ;) Image courtesy of TV Squad

“Hello! I’m Eric Mills. You know, I’m not the most attractive man in the world, I’m not really much of a dresser, and, let’s be honest, I frankly don’t have a personality that makes up for either of those factors. And yet I get more action than Don Juan and Casanova put together. I bet you’re wondering how I do it! … Let’s say you’re at a party. What you do is, you find a halfway good-looking girl at the bar, and you check out how much she drinks. Does she drink a lot? Is she by herself? You’re in like flynn!" - The Comics Curmudgeon ...

Ally Babble…Enemy of Batman…Friend of All Mankind. :)

Even though I come away believing half the stuff is made up, Overheard in New York and Overheard in the Office are consistently entertaining. Recent entries: Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss? Guy: No, he’s Swedish. Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable. - Overheard in New York Engineer #1: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote this code? Engineer #2: Boobs. Engineer #1: Huh?! Engineer #2: Truthfully, it’s likely I was thinking about boobs. - Overheard in the Office ...

I get around 200 spam emails each day, most helpfully tagged as such by Yahoo and Gmail’s filters. What struck me today is just how mundane spam makes my life sound. Sample subject lines, with commentary: This Samsung 42 inch HDTV is on us.. That does sound painful. And it’s a good reminder that in only two to three years HDTVs might be cheap enough I’d actually buy one. Neod doctor! ...